Sex and the Japanese provides a broad look at the changing concepts of sexuality in Japanese culture. From the days of concubines and geishas to the present, sex and sexuality in Japan have been more openly discussed and available than in the West—due for the most part to Shinto, the native religion of Japan that recognizes, celebrates and respects the sensual side of life.
The sexual attitudes and customs of present-day Japan continue to reflect this ancient wisdom in ways that are both practical and imaginative. Sex and the Japanese reveals the ins and outs of these attitudes and customs, from the institutions of “love hotels” and erotic massage parlors, weekend trysts at hot spring spas, the use of cell phones and the Internet, to well-publicized date clubs and escort services.
There is a saying in Japan that a man needs three things to be successful with women: aggressiveness—oshi (oh-she); money—okane (oh-kah-nay) and a good figure—sugata (sue-gahtah). This saying originally applied to the “Floating World” of the geisha, cabaret hostesses, and other “women of the night.” It is still true today but in the “New Japan,” which dates from the 1970s, there are other things that are equally important.
There is no similar saying that applies to women since they are generally seen as the pursuees rather than the pursuers, but there is no mystery about the women in Japan who are the most successful at attracting—and keeping—men. In addition to a pleasing feminine appearance and feminine behavior that brings men into their net they know how to titillate and tease, massage the male ego, satisfy the male lust, and surreptitiously get men to do what they want them to do.
For both men and women, there is a fourth key to successful love life in Japan—and that is an
acceptable attitude, good manners, and being well-dressed.
During the long Tokugawa Shogunate, the apparel the Japanese could wear was prescribed by the shogunate and was based on social class and occupation. This made all Japanese extraordinarily sensitive to the style of dress in all of its definitions, and being well-dressed today is often enough to get you through many doors.
Foreign bachelors and bachelorettes in Japan face a number of special cultural challenges that go beyond physical appearance and behavior, but they also benefit significantly— without any effort on their part—from other cultural factors that are an integral part of the Japanese character.
Among the things that should be in the foreign lover’s arsenal is an understanding of the background of love in Japan, an appreciation of the finer points of Japan’s culture as it relates to human sexuality and male-female relations. Also, some familiarity with the language of love adds to success in a technical sense as well as to the ambiance and charm of love Japanese style.
While a growing number of young Japanese—especially women—are able to communicate in English fairly well, the foreign lover in Japan who cannot speak at least some Japanese is seriously handicapped. Learning enough Japanese to communicate on a basic level is not as difficult as it first appears. The language is based on combinations of only six key sounds. These six sounds are the basis of an “alphabet” of some 100 syllables that make up all of the words in the language. The pronunciation of these syllables is very similar to that of Spanish and Latin.
I have included a chart of all of the syllables in the Japanese language, along with a euphonic pronunciation guide for each syllable. By following the very simple guides, you can teach yourself to pronounce Japanese properly in the next half hour. Thereafter, learning enough Japanese to become a more effective lover is a relatively simple matter.
In fact, much of the charm and pleasure of learning how to love in Japan is the communication process—the spoken as well as the non-verbal language. The reason for this is quite simple. The culture of Japan is bound up in keywords in the language. These keywords serve as doorways to understanding the attitudes and behavior of the Japanese
and how to communicate with them clearly and effectively.
Table of Content
Preface—The Language of Love 7
Japanese Pronunciation Guidelines 11
Sex without Sin
Heritage of the Fertility Cult
The Dao Sex Syndrome
Happy Days of Hedonism
Sampling Forbidden Fruit
The Occupation Years“West Mates East”
The “Romance Gray” Phenomenon
Love Hotels & Massage Parlors
Porn for the Male Masses
Sex Lessons for the Ladies
Titillation on the Tube
Musume on the Make
When Hubby is Away, Wives Will
The Charms of Japanese Women
The Wiles of Japanese Women
Look Before You Leap
Happy Hunting Grounds